I am so so so so so tired. In fact I believe this is the most tired I have been in a long time. I have a almost 5 month old who has been waking me up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours at night, a 3 and 5 year old who are up at 6:00 a.m. everyday, a 10 year old who somehow can't fall asleep until 10:00 p.m. every night despite the fact that I want to be in bed and asleep at 9:00, and last but not least I have a brain that won't let me fall asleep when I can sleep because it keeps going over all the things I need to be doing. We are getting ready for a move across the country and every time I start working on something for the move a child needs something from me that keeps me from getting what I need to do done. In fact right now it is 6:30 a.m. and I have been awake since 4. I have now told my 3 and 5 year old to stay in bed until the sun comes up at least 5 times and have tried to settle the baby back into sleep twice since I have began writing this blog post 30 minutes ago. Right now being a mom feels like too much! When the house is finally quiet at night I lay in bed and try to think if I have had more positives then negatives with my children that day. Did I use every teaching moment? Did I snap at them when they were doing nothing wrong? Did I talk kindly to them? Did I love them enough?
What can I do to make things right? Last night as I was thinking and praying about all of this a song from my childhood came into my mind, it is titled Four Hugs a Day by Charlotte Diamond. The song starts out with the lyrics:
Nobody gets enough hugs a day
'Cause the minimum number is four
Now if you haven't got Four hugs today
Then you better get some more....
As I laid in bed thinking about this song I decided that today my goal would be to give my children at least 4 hugs each. If all else fails today, if I go to bed tonight completely exhausted, if I didn't get any packing done and my kids have only eaten macaroni from a box, at least I can say that I hugged them and maybe today that is enough.